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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I am at my wit’s end with my husband of 43 years and I hope you have some sage advice I can show him.

Bill and I have been retired for a few years and it’s something I really looked forward to because I have a passion for travel and this was our plan. Bill agreed. We have carefully saved for several trips abroad. We have two adult children living up north and they fully support the idea of us living like nomads for a while.

The problem is that two years ago, Bill rescued a hound that he refuses to leave. Tupelo came from an abusive past and she can get very nervous around strangers to the point of soiling herself. Because of this, Bill refuses to kennel her so we can take a trip and she’s too big and nervous for our friends, mostly elderly, to deal with.

I am so upset over this. I see all my hopes and dreams disappearing. At our age, one never knows when health issues will crop up that don’t allow us to travel. Right now, we’re both pretty fit and healthy, but if Tupelo lives another 10 years, we’ll be in our 80s, and who knows if we can then travel. 

This feels so unfair. What can I do to get Bill to see my side?

 

Depressed

 

Dear Depressed,

 

This scenario doesn’t just feel unfair, it is unfair.

But let me tell you about my friend, Panty Aam, who had the same neurotic devotion to her dog, a Jack Russell named Bonnie. She refused to kennel her as well. Was absolutely sure the dog would feel abandoned and scared. 

The answer was a house/farm-sitter who stopped by for several days (and was paid for this) so that Bonnie would begin to recognize and look forward to seeing her. Then when she moved in to farmsit, there was no stress. Plus, in these days with texting making sending photos and videos a breeze, Bill will be able to see that Tupelo is still alive and not howling in misery with his own eyes from the Eiffel Tower.

And if Bill refuses this negotiation, well, dear, stream the movie Shirley Valentine, and take your best friend with you to travel the world. Yes, of course it would be nice if Bill wanted to join you, but if he doesn’t, that shouldn’t stop you from embarking on the trips you’ve looked forward to your entire working life. 

(Besides, there’s lots of cute waiters in Italy. Just sayin’)

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam