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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I just don’t know what to do about my granddaughter. ‘Barbie’ is now 18, graduated from high school, but didn’t want to go to her graduation. She said all the kids were ‘pathetic’ and she didn’t want to be a part of it. That broke my heart, because I feel like she’s missing out on such wonderful memories. Now she doesn’t want to go on the annual family vacation to Clearwater. She has a couple of friends and they all wear black all the time, dye their hair black, and wear what her mother calls ‘gothic make-up.’

She and her friends sell vintage clothes online, and I have no idea how much she makes, but she does still live at home. We were always close, but now I don’t recognize her at all. I feel like I’ve lost her forever. How can I get across to her that she’s missing out on the happiest years of her life?

 

Signed,

Sad Grandma

 

Dear Grandma,

 

To be honest, if I were named Barbie in this day and age, I’d be painting my lips and nails black too, just for payback to my parents.

It appears that your dreams and aspirations for what creates a happy adolescence are somewhat at odds with Barbie’s. What was meaningful and fun for you might very well be anathema for her. She’s spreading her bat-like wings and wanting to dance to the beat of a different drum. Let her! Actually, I really admire her vintage clothes business and, who knows? Barbie might become a huge success, which, of course, is defined by what brings her contentment.

Give Barbie space, applaud her individuality, and trust me: like everyone else, in 15 years she’ll be wandering around her garden in her bathrobe at 8 am, holding her coffee mug and wondering if she should add rhubarb next year.

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam