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Dear Aunty Pam,

I’m in a quandary. I met a really nice man at a ‘Volunteer appreciation’ get-together for a local charity. He is attractive with a nice smile, and we seemed to hit it off. We chatted a lot about subjects we had in common, and I felt so comfortable with him that I asked if he’d like to continue the conversation over coffee the next day. He said he’d love to, and I drove home, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

We met at a local sandwich shop, and we both had coffee and dessert. We had a nice conversation. But then the check came. He just sat there, and it felt awkward, so I said, ‘I’ll get this,’ and paid the bill. Dessert is expensive these days and the bill was $20.

I’m disappointed because I thought at least he’d make an effort to say, ‘No, let me pay,’ but he didn’t. He just smiled and said thanks. So now my crush has fizzled because I wonder if he’s nice but cheap or broke. Should I give him another chance?

Signed,

Miss Moneybags

 

Dear Miss M

Sooooo, if Aunty Pam invited you to dinner, she would not expect you to bring the pork loin. 

Somewhere in life, you have missed the memo that said whoever invites someone else to do something, unless specifically mentioned, etiquette dictates that the invitee treats the invited. 

You invited this ‘nice guy’ out for coffee, and therefore, it was assumed, quite naturally, that it was on your tab. I mean, it is 2024, and women do, at least for now, have their own credit cards. You created any awkwardness around the unpaid check.

Should you give him another chance? For what? To determine if he lives up to your critical suspicions? Pretty negative way to begin a relationship, dontcha think? Maybe hit up Amazon and purchase a copy of ‘Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior’ beforehand.

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam