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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

My wife is three months pregnant and has nonstop morning sickness. Every morning, she’s hurling, and certain smells also make her sick. For some reason, anything being fried in the kitchen makes her nauseous, but last night, I really wanted a cheeseburger, so I made one. ‘Marie’ started gagging, ran to the bathroom, and was sick all over. Then she went straight to bed.

Fast-forward to this morning, when she got up to shower and blew her top because I hadn’t cleaned up after her being sick last night. I told her it wasn’t my fault she lost her cookies all over the countertop and sink, and I didn’t even use our bathroom over that—I used the guest bathroom.

Marie says it was my fault because she told me not to fry anything, and I made the cheeseburger. I think I have given up a lot of stuff so that she doesn’t get sick, and maybe this time I slipped, but am I really the bad guy because I didn’t clean up after my wife? Just the thought of it makes me gag.

 

Signed,

Doug

 

Dear Doug,

 

No law says you have to clean up after your wife, but considering you did actually create this episode with your cheeseburger, and Marie not only is carrying your flesh and blood but has been sick since conception, it would have been a decent and loving gesture to put a mask over your nose and mouth, close your eyes, and mop up as best you can.

Can you imagine being that nauseous every single day, Dougie? Aunty Pam says you might want to try because what awaits you will make last night look like a picnic. You don’t know the meaning of being nauseated until you change a baby’s diaper and pressure wash the crib and the walls. Trust me, kiddo, you’ll never eat Grey Poupon again.

Man up and support Marie. She needs it.

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam