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Dear Aunty Pam,

Why is it that when women are hormonal, and you know for a fact they’re hormonal (time of the month), they get so angry when you tell them they’re being hormonal?

Confused

Dear Confused,

So what’s it like typing this email from a shallow grave on the side of a road?

Listen, Con, the reason women become exasperated, or pick up a baseball bat when asked (or, in your words, ‘when you tell them’) if we are hormonal, is because that phrase is generally meant as an explanation of why the woman in your life (as short as it potentially might be) is disagreeing with you in the moment.

Imagine a woman saying this to you in the middle of an argument: “Why are you yelling? You’re being completely unreasonable. Obviously it’s your prostate acting up, isn’t it? Must be.”

And I suspect, Con, you realize that it’s a bit of a fanged ninja response when you say something like this, because what it implies is that the woman is captive by the whim of her emotions and not capable of articulating her point intellectually. This is a narrative that always pops up when a woman runs for political office, or, Lord forbid, the White House: that she will throw tantrums, whine, complain, probably fire off tweets all day long blaming others for her own failings…

(Excuse me- Aunty Pam is wanted on Line 2. I’ll return in a moment)

Anyway, suffice it to say that it’s never a good idea to throw the ‘H’ word at a woman when she’s not in a great mood. Not only is it unkind, but women have been found ‘not guilty’ in regard to homicide charges by proving PMS, so you’re on your own. And, yes, let’s be honest: the truth is a woman might actually be feeling ‘hormonal.’ She might be having a massive headache or doubled over with cramps. There’s no denying it. But a woman has the right to be in a crappy mood like anyone else, and, like any other healthily functioning human being, she should also make an effort to be reflective upon how her behavior is affecting others and make amends.

Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam