It seems that it never fails. 

Every Dec. 31, millions of people make resolutions — promises to themselves and others — that they are going to do something like join a gym, lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking…you know the list, and it goes on and on.

What also never fails for a huge majority of those resolution-makers is that within weeks — sometimes hours or days — of making that promise to themselves, a spouse, a significant other or family member, said promise gets broken and forgotten.

The simple solution for avoiding breaking New Year’s resolutions is to not make any.

There, wasn’t that easy?  No promises made, no promises broken. 

From my experience, change is an inside job, done solely for you, by you. No one can “make” you lose weight, work out, stop smoking, etc.

So, if that’s your personal goal, don’t share it, just undertake the effort for the transformation, and over time, as you succeed, people will notice.

One of the biggest “rules” that you have to accept as you begin your journey to change is that you’re human. Yes, you’ll have that cigarette, that beer and you’ll skip a workout or eat that donut.

Good, get it out of your system and start over and keep starting and putting more personal discipline and self-control into your effort. If you do that, you may be amazed to find that it’s been days, weeks, even months since you began your journey and you’re succeeding in changing a behavior or breaking a habit.

All you have to say to people who mention that you’ve lost weight or they haven’t seen you with a cigarette or drink in your hand is “Thanks for noticing. It’s something I’ve been working on.”

If you’re lucky enough to have no major unhealthy habits that require you to modify your behavior, why not make some other changes?

How about making it a habit to smile more often at everyone you see, say hello to strangers, not get angry when the driver in front of you forgets to put on his turn signal and slows down to make a turn?  In the grocery story, just to be nice, why not let someone with only one or two items in her/his hand get in front of you to check out rather than make them wait for you to empty your cart filled with items from your weekly shopping trip?

You’ll be amazed at how many people who experience and receive your act of kindness, then pay it forward.

With all the acrimony and divisiveness we see in our nation, maybe just being more kind to the people you know, see, meet and interact with as you go through your daily life will be the catalyst that gets others acting in the same way, thereby making life a lot more enjoyable for themselves and those around them.

You alone have the power and authority to change yourself and become a better you. It costs nothing, and it’s a great way to start off your New Year.

Just remember, we’re all human. Change won’t happen quickly or easily.

But to quote Yoda from the second “Star Wars” movie, “Do or do not, there is no try,” and make this your best year ever by striving to become a better you.

Ron Kauffman is a consultant and expert speaker on issues of aging. He is the author of “Caring for a Loved One with Alzheimer’s Disease.” He may be contacted at 828-696-9799 or at drron561@gmail.com.