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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

Emergency!! I am hosting a potluck/buffet social for my church group next week and one of the women on the committee has sort of invited herself over to help. The reason I don’t want her there is because she will bring her 12-year-old child. I’ve seen this child at other gatherings, and he seems to be obsessed with picking his nose. What’s worse is that he will then use his same fingers to pick up food. I’ve even seen him pick up a brownie, look at it, then put it back. I’m going to be frank: it disgusts me, and I’ve seen other church members give him the side-eye when he does this. 

How do I explain to his mother that I don’t want him at our meal? Should I just tell her I don’t need her help?

 

Signed,

Grossed Out

 

Dear Grossed Out,

 

Well, the little booger!

Frankly, you couldn’t have picked a more distasteful topic, but Aunty Pam will do her best…I suppose there is the possibility that nose-picking is obsessive-compulsive behavior; however, even so, we’re talking simple hygiene here. 

I think the solution is pretty straightforward. Let the woman come and help. When Junior is ready to eat, YOU carry his plate and lead him to the buffet table. Ask him what he would like, and YOU place it on the plate. And if he goes to extend those offending fingers towards something, a simple, ‘No, honey, we have serving spoons and cake knives in front of every dish so that we don’t spread germs touching food, Capiche?’

The nose-picking is above my pay grade, but at least you can keep his offending digits away from everybody’s deviled eggs.

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam