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By Diane Nelson

 

Five ex-world junior hockey players are accused of sexual assault in 2018. Allegedly, a woman met a player at a celebration, went to his hotel room for consensual sex, and his four buddies joined him without her consent. A high-profile trial began on Tuesday, April 22, in Canada. The gentlemen have all pleaded not guilty.  

NFL Hall of Famer Shannon Sharpe was recently accused of sexual assault and battery and is calling the charges a “shakedown.”

In Wisconsin, Skyler Klaussen (22) and Madison Bishop (21) have been arrested on sexual assault charges of a 2-month-old baby girl. The evidence from his phone revealed the plan was in place before the baby was even born.  

How does this stuff even happen?

Sexual assault is not exclusive to any situation. The Menendez brothers claimed they were victims of their father’s heinous abuse. Despite their mother knowing, nothing was done! The brothers killed the parents in cold blood. Evidence has surfaced that corroborates this claim – the sons were not the only victims.

Sexual assault is defined as physical, sexual acts without the consent of the other person, including force, violence, threat, or intimidation. For the abuser, it’s an addictive cycle. For the victim, it is a lifetime of mental torture, fragility, loss of self-esteem, and fear of telling.

At Steps to Hope, we are privileged to support survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.  The people who seek our help are ordinary individuals who have reached adulthood. They have witnessed things and lived through experiences that no person should ever see or experience, carrying memories and emotions that are buried deep inside. They work every day to hold their heads up and make it through another 24 hours.  

We have the honor of getting to know them. In many cases, we provide them with a clean place to lay their head, a warm shower, and a hot meal. Many come after struggling with drug misuse.  Some hear voices leftover from past experiences – decades old.  

In Polk County, there are limited recorded statistics, as crime often goes unreported among older teens and adults. But DSS keeps statistics on the children. These are VICTIMS in every sense of the word who cannot help what was done to them. And they are fighters.  

What makes them stay quiet? Threats of violence or death? Too young to know?  I knew of a man, a successful business owner, married with children. He struggled with addiction and infidelity…he just couldn’t get himself together. At 45, he finally came clean – at 7 years old, he had been molested by a 13-year-old neighbor. He’d never told anyone under threat of death or fear of public humiliation. He’d lived with that for years. Once revealed, with the support of his family, he was able to undergo rehabilitation. He has since gotten his personal life settled down.  

Sexual assault has lifelong effects. There are very few that emerge unscathed. Most survivors suffer from depression or mental illness; many turn to drugs or alcohol just to cope with the shame, secrecy, and low self-esteem. Some choose suicide to escape the pain. The signs are obvious to anyone who knows them. Yet the abusers continue the cycle for generations. And if you think it doesn’t exist in our little “nirvana,” think again.  

If we are going to change that, we must have the courage to speak up!  For more information, visit www.stepstohope.org or call 828-894-2300.