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Here’s a warning for those of you looking forward to becoming grandparents next year…

It appears that the list of trendy baby names for 2025 makes it quite unlikely that your grandchild will be named after you. Gone are the days of Charles and Robert. Adios, Barbara. See ya, Edward. Because coming soon to a daycare near you is Bear, Daisy and even Banjo (particularly big in Australia, but they also drink a LOT). 

That’s right: dog names for children are becoming the rage, and according to baby name consultant Colleen Slagen (evidently, on TikTok anyone can call themselves anything), “Dog names are in, Okay? Like, that’s a compliment now.”

Okay, Colleen. Like, gosh.

However, while your list of ‘short and sweet’ examples such as Max, Chloe and Luna could double easily as human names, your ‘edgy names’ could look a bit pretentious stitched into the Dickies coveralls when ‘Maverick’ tells you it’s your fuel pump, or ‘Bullet’ swings past your table to ask if you’d like another cup of decaf.

I’m someone who enjoys giving her pets human monikers (Bernie, Wills, Mia, Lucas…). I feel it gives them a bit of dignity. Yes, we do have a cat named Mr. Mao, but that’s only because he told us repeatedly, especially around dinner time, that is how he’d like to be addressed. I’ve never gone for the ‘Fluffys’ or ‘Brownies’ — I mean, that seems terribly unoriginal, naming a pet based solely on its appearance. And if we did that to humans, well, at least that would make it far easier to remember the names of the people we were just introduced to at a cocktail party.

“Hey, Beer Gut, you know Frizzy, right? And his wife, Dimples? They were just showing me pictures of their dog, Steve.”