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By Diane Nelson

 

For those who are in domestic violence situations, suicide is sometimes mistakenly thought of as “the only way out.”  

If someone has escaped the violence but feels judged, humiliated, or that no one cares, then depression, psychological distress, and hopelessness can set in. Self-isolation, a coping mechanism to escape judgment, provides an opportunity to contemplate and self-judge personal choices, even ones they cannot control. As the support system retreats for lack of knowing what to do, the feelings of worthlessness intensify. Family conflict can cause the survivor to feel like a burden to their family – creating intolerable feelings. A strong desire to die and the capability for lethal self-harm set the stage for the unthinkable.

So, what are some signs to look for that someone is considering suicide? Many are the same for anyone looking for help. These are not exclusive, by any means, to people contemplating suicide because of domestic violence or substance abuse. But they are indicators that some pretty drastic solutions are being considered. 

If a person talks of unbearable pain, death, feeling hopeless, worthless, trapped, guilt, shame, anger, and burden to others, all of these conversations beg reassurance and further conversation.  

Some changes in behavior that can be a red flag include sudden changes in mood, withdrawal from social activities, decrease in performance at work or school, unexplained injuries (self-harm such as cutting), drinking too much or too often, drug misuse, and paranoia about “no escape.”  A triggering event can be the loss of child custody, divorce, or court appearances related to domestic violence or substance abuse charges.  

The most important thing you can do is create a safe space where they can talk openly without fear of judgment. Spend time together. Do fun things. Volunteer. Find small ways to fold them into necessary tasks so they feel valuable. Introduce the idea of professional help. Seek someone who specializes in domestic violence and suicide prevention. If they are still involved in an unhealthy situation, help them assemble their list of emergency contacts and a safety plan/escape route. 

Be sure to direct them to a hotline and Steps to Hope, the local DV/SA agency, for emergency assistance and long-term support. Positive coping mechanisms such as spiritual beliefs and religious practices have also been found to improve mental health, as they give people a feeling of something beyond their own humanity. It is crucial that they know they are not alone.  

Important resources include the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE), the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK), or simply dialing 988.

This article is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.