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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I’ve got a big problem and I hope you can help me.

 

I’ve met the woman of my dreams after a very lonely decade since I was divorced. ‘Jean’ is beautiful, smart and a lot of fun. We are talking about marriage and we’re planning on moving in together. Jean wants to move in with me because my place is bigger; my house sits on a lake, and she loves that. I was super excited and couldn’t wait.

 

The problem? My 17-year-old cat, Chester. Turns out Jean is allergic to cats and she says there’s no way she can move in while Chester is around. I’ve had Chester since I found him as a kitten and he’s very special to me. It sort of hurt my feelings when Jean said something like, ‘Well, maybe he won’t live much longer.’ She said she was joking, and I believed her, but a few days ago, she said it’s a little ridiculous for us to put off our time together as neither one of us are getting any younger, and can’t I find a new home for him?

 

I’m really torn. Chester’s my best buddy, but I don’t want to take a chance on losing Jean, or having her think I don’t really love her.

 

I guess I’m asking, do you think giving Chester away would be a bad thing to do?

 

Signed,

Big John

 

Dear John,

 

DON’T YOU DARE re-home an elderly cat who has only known you, is secure in his surroundings, and loves you. Plus, you love him!

 

I gotta tell ya, John, those comments from Jean make me wonder if she really is ’the woman of your dreams.’ Because they sound rather caustic and cruel to me. Not only is she being unfeeling in regards to an animal to suggest you give away Chester (and listen—once you give an animal away, you have no idea what its fate will be), but she’s not taking into consideration how important Chester is to you. And it sounds darn near an ultimatum: ’the cat, or me.’

 

There is an option: allergy shots. If Jean really loves YOU, perhaps she’ll speak with her doctor about that possibility. If she expects you to experience the pain of losing your cherished cat, then it’s only fair that you expect her to experience the pain of a jab in the arm, right?

 

Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam