Second, we should all have a designated person to be our durable power of attorney to act on our behalf to manage our affairs should we become incapacitated in one way or another and unable to speak or act for ourselves. This provision becomes especially important for persons who develop dementia, Alzheimer’s, ALS, suffer a traumatic brain injury or some other severely debilitating condition. Again, the person so designated must be absolutely trustworthy and be designated while we have our full capabilities. In this case advance directives may also be given. This document should be drafted by an attorney and be dated and notarized with your signature.  This, too, can be a family member or a trusted friend who is willing to accept the responsibility.

Third, everyone should have a will that is current and revised occasionally as personal or family conditions change. There are forms available for wills online, but I advise that an attorney draw up the document which describes exactly how one wishes to have their property and personal effects distributed upon their deaths. In the will an executor should be named who will oversee the terms of the will and legally close the estate. This person can again be someone who is well trusted or an attorney.

Finally, for the sake of your family and friends, take time to plan your funeral or memorial service and make your wishes for that event very clear. It is one of the kindest and most loving things we can do for our surviving family and friends. Trying to second guess “what mama would like” can be a traumatic experience for a family in the midst of grief. All of our local funeral homes and most churches can provide resources and aid for funeral planning according to one’s wishes and in keeping with one’s faith tradition.

We never know what will happen from day to day, but we can be prepared for the inevitable and insure that what we want for the end of our lives is not left to chance.

~ The Reverend Dr. Michael Doty, Rector The Episcopal Church of the Holy Cross