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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

My wife and I live in the suburbs, and a new family just moved in next door. We met them and welcomed them to the neighborhood, and they seemed nice. However, a father-in-law lives with them, and he wanders around the yard and down the sidewalk a few times a day, always with a Budweiser in his hand.

Lately, ‘Joe’ has decided to come over whenever he feels like it. He’s loud, boozy, and always ranting about politics. Whenever he comes over, he starts spouting off, and I have to tell him I can’t talk. I’m busy (I work from home), but it doesn’t sink in. My wife works in town, so I’ve got to deal with Joe on my own.

Last week, I saw Joe heading our way, so I rushed out back to turn on the sprinklers. They came on just before he crossed our driveway, and he got soaked, jumped back, and went back to his house. I’ve done it two other times, and it worked great. 

The problem is my wife saw it on our RING camera footage and is furious with me because she says it’s a cruel thing to do to an old, lonely guy, and I should be ashamed of myself. I told her she has no idea what a pain he is. Seriously, is what I’m doing cruel?

 

Doug in the Doghouse

 

Dear Doug,

 

So THAT’S who’s been drinking Budweiser! I was wondering how their sales rebounded.

Aunty Pam thinks what you did was rather ingenious— Joe doesn’t realize it was you who turned on the sprinklers, I assume, and thinks they’re on a timer.

In a more charitable heart, it’s pretty clear Joe is lonely, carrying around a bit of anger (uninvited political outbursts), and has a problem with booze. If you find him difficult, imagine what it must be like for his family. But that’s not your problem. Perhaps, as your wife sounds sympathetic, she can have a small word with the neighbors to keep him in their yard and perhaps offer to pay for a fence. This will take a lot of tact on her part so as not to make him sound like a roving pit bull. Which, in some respects, he is.

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam