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Dear Aunty Pam,

Will you please help settle an argument between my husband and I? I’ll send you brownies if you say I’m right, lol. Just kidding!

I recently booked our regular babysitter to watch our twin boys while my husband and I made plans to go to a Christmas cocktail party. My husband ended up having to work late and was stressing because he would have been really rushed to finish at work, drive home and then drive the half hour to the party, so we decided not to go and I called our babysitter to cancel.

The next day, her mother texted me to say she would appreciate us paying her daughter at least half of what she’d have earned that night and I texted her back saying that as we used her regularly, I would hope she would be more understanding and we will tip her a bit more the next time we use her.

I thought the subject was closed, then I found out my husband Venmoed her the whole amount! I’m so angry with him for not standing behind me and going behind my back to her! I told him he had no right to do that and we ended up having a pretty big fight. I feel like he completely betrayed me. 

Which one of us is in the wrong? 

Thank you.

Angry Wife

Dear Scrooge,

First of all, it’s ‘my husband and me.’

Secondly, I don’t want brownies. Prosecco, yes, but I doubt you’d give that to me after I declare you to be cheap and quite ruthless.

It never fails to boggle my mind that people want to skimp paying a few bucks to the person they choose to watch over their own flesh and blood while out for the evening.

YOU, my dear, canceled at the last minute on your sitter, your ‘regular’ sitter, who might very well decide not to sit for you in the future. She’s a kid. It’s Christmas—she may have well needed, and counted, on that money to do some holiday shopping. 

Your husband was absolutely in the right here, as was your sitter’s mother, going to bat for her kid. It’s the season for giving. Get over yourself.

Cheers, dears!

Aunty Pam