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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I read your column about Christmas trees and now I have a dilemma for you!

My wife and I are in our mid-70s. I’m a country boy at heart and have always had a real tree. It just doesn’t feel like a Christmas with a fake, plastic one, but my wife went out and bought one at Big Lots. I don’t want to have anything to do with it and she says she doesn’t want any more live trees because she says she’s tired of all the needles that have to be swept up.

I got mad because she bought this thing without asking me so I went out and bought a real tree without telling her. Now we’ve got two trees sitting in the garage and we’re fighting about which one is coming in and which one stays out. 

I hope you’re on my side!! What do you think?

 

Signed,

Robert in Greer, SC

 

Dear Bob,

 

What do I think? I think you’re both behaving like silver-haired goobers!

Really, nothing expresses the celebration of God’s gift of love to man more than two adults fighting over a stupid tree. It seems that there would be an easy solution: if the complaint against a real tree is the endless vacuuming of needles then simply offer to be the one to sweep them up—and stick to it. Daily. Because you’ll be finding those things for months after Christmas, trust me: under the rug, in the corner…

Or…you can bring both trees in. Do you have a man cave? Maybe put yours there. Or, if your living room is big enough, put one on each side of the room.

One, final, idea: place the real tree just outside your front window where you can see it and decorate it with edible bird goodies. 

I did a 5-second google search and came up with this: 

That way you can not only view your tree and enjoy seeing all the beautiful birds gratefully feasting, but you can really annoy your wife by leaving it up through February…

 

Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam