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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I became a widow last year after 34 years of marriage, and my children very kindly decided to surprise me with a trip to Paris. I am so touched that they would all chip in for the cost and that they remembered it was a bucket list adventure my husband and I dreamed of sharing one day.

So what’s the problem? My children decided I shouldn’t travel alone (I am absolutely comfortable traveling on my own), and also secretly bought a ticket for one of my friends to join me on the trip. My friend, ‘Ellen,’ is a sweetheart but not a best friend for one reason: she never stops talking. 

I’m serious when I say you can’t get away from her, so I have stayed in touch with her over the years by email to control the length of any communication. Now she calls me at least once a day (sometimes three times) out of excitement about the trip and asking what to pack and what sights we should see until I want to scream. 

She is divorced and a bit lonely, but the thought of spending this trip of a lifetime with Chatty Cathy has me dreading it. I’m even dreading the flight over as our seats are booked next to each other.

Help!! What can I do?

 

April in Paris

 

Dear April,

 

Without a duffel bag and chloroform, honestly, there’s not too much you CAN do.

But Aunty Pam does have some ideas. First of all, as gently as you can, inform Ellen before you depart that you absolutely must sleep on the plane; otherwise, you will struggle terribly with jet lag—and then pop in earplugs. That will cover you for 10 hours.

Once in Paris, you can always rise early and enjoy the city on foot before Ellen stirs. And to be fair, who wouldn’t be bubbly and excited to be in the middle of that jewel box of a city? Try to remain patient, and as you wind yourself around the city to see all its sights, be sure to pour Ellen an extra glass of wine at lunch to make her sleepy.

 

Cheers, dears!

Aunty Pam