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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I met a really nice guy, ‘Jerry,’ on a dating site. We’ve had two dates but I’m not sure I can stomach a third. 

The reason? Because when he goes to eat, he opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out as he takes a forkful of food. It just grosses me out. 

We’ve gone out to dinner twice and I just can’t look at him while we’re eating, I just have to look down at my plate while we’re talking, which feels weird. The other night when we were having dessert, he asked for a taste of my tiramisu, took my fork, and stuck his tongue out like a lizard when he went to put it in his mouth. He gave me my fork back and I just put it down. All I could think about was his saliva all over my fork so I said I was full and didn’t eat anymore. Then I was worried he’d try and kiss me when we walked back to the car, so I made an excuse that I thought I was coming down with something to avoid it.

I feel bad because Jerry is really nice otherwise. He’s called and texted about going out again, but all I can think of is that lizard tongue and making up an excuse not to go out. 

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but what should I do?

 

Signed,

Louise

 

Jeez, Louise, do you really need to ask me? I mean, Aunty Pam is always happy to help but it’s pretty clear that after two dates with Gene Simmons, in your words, he ‘grosses you out.’ Despite his being ‘really nice,’ it’s OK if you’re not attracted to iguanas. Especially one that trashes your tiramisu, which, as far as I’m concerned, is a faux pas not to be lived down.

I do feel for Jerry because he is probably unaware that his eating habits have this effect on you, and possibly others. Let him down gently and tell him he’s a lovely chap but you simply aren’t feeling the chemistry you’d hoped for. That is, after all, the truth.

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam