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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

I’m a 47-year-old married man. I’ve been married to Bev for 23 years. For 23 years, I have spent every Christmas on the road, driving to spend one holiday at my folks’ house in Baltimore or Bev’s family in Arkansas. We’ve got one kid, a son in college, and that’s all he’s ever known too. 

At what point can I put my foot down and say, I’m done? I want to spend Christmas in my own home. My parents get it and understand, but Bev practically hyperventilates every time I bring it up. To her, Christmas isn’t Christmas if she isn’t in her childhood home with her me-maw, pee-paw and a bunch of yeehaws. It doesn’t seem to matter what I think or want. She keeps saying, ‘You never know when it might be their last Christmas.’ Her folks are in their mid-70s, live on a farm and are like a pair of oxen. If anything, they’ll outlive us.

I’m sick and tired of making these drives. Any idea?

 

Signed, 

Bah Humbug

 

Dear BH,

 

You have my every sympathy. And Aunty Pam has to say it: can Ma and Pa Kettle not saddle up ol’ Blue, or make the drive, or fly down now and then? That seems an appropriate ask. And I hear how important it is for Bev to want to be in her childhood home, however, she is part of two families—with you and your son— and while breaking traditions can be very difficult, it might help if you suggest that having Christmas at home say, every other Christmas, would actually be adding another tradition instead of breaking the former one.

At any rate, Mr. Humbug—May I call you Bah? Aunty Pam sides with you. 

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam