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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

A friend of mine’s adult son has been getting in touch with me. He wants to know more about his childhood—especially when his parents divorced because he was very young and he hasn’t heard from his father since then.

Unfortunately, my friend hasn’t told him all the facts about the situation and painted his father completely at fault. The problem is that I know better because she told me everything at the time, and I witnessed a lot of stuff as well. 

With the holidays coming up, he’s feeling pretty lost and emotional about it all, and I want to help him find closure. Should I tell him what I know?

 

DM 

 

Dear DM,

 

Aunty Pam says this with all the love and Christmas kindness I can muster over this difficult situation: NO. Nope, nada, never. Duct tape your mouth, resist all temptation, do NOT throw gasoline on what is already a combustible scenario. 

What you can do, which I believe is perfectly appropriate, is to talk to your friend and tell her that her son has been contacting you and this is making you increasingly uncomfortable because, one, it’s none of your business and, two, you are aware of the truth around her divorce, and it puts you in a difficult situation that only she can remedy by setting things straight with her son.

Then pour yourself a nice glass of mulled wine, close your eyes, and give thanks for not being part of that upcoming conversation…

 

Cheers, dears!!

Aunty Pam