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With a contentious presidential debate and solemnly remembering the national tragedy that was 9/11, it’s made for a difficult week, hasn’t it?

Social media friends spitting political jabs at each other like vexed cats…children terrified to go to school…speaking your sadness around the collapse of the twin towers to the receptionist during your dental appointment, only to realize they weren’t born until after the event…

You know what we need?

Pie.

No, I’m not being glib or Pollyanna. I’m suggesting reaching out from home and hearth with face-to-face, personal encounters. It’s ironic to me that some of the most popular FB pages and Instagram accounts are those featuring cozy cottage lifestyles: images of an overstuffed chair next to a pile of books and a mug of steaming coffee on the end table…a jug of sunflowers on a deep windowsill, the afternoon light streaming over it…the Labrador curled up in front of the fire. And pie. Freshly baked pumpkin/apple/cherry/rhubarb pie cooling on a rustic wooden table. There seems to be such comfort found in following these sites. A real need for what seems to be a safe and tranquil place to escape. Even knowing full well these photographs are expertly staged with professional lighting and designers to create a profound effect doesn’t curtail their popularity.

And the funny thing is, for many of us, if we’d look away from our phone for a moment and let our eyes slowly take in our own surroundings, we’d find that we’ve created a space that gives us the same contentment: that throw pillow your late aunt so carefully embroidered, the trio of tiny succulents thriving on the hutch, that favorite painting—who cares if it’s a print, you love it. Yes, the cat might smack one of those succulents to the floor at any moment, and the dog might pee on the wool runner you just put down to protect the wood floors.

But that’s life un-staged. It’s messy, cluttered and…quite wonderful. Wonderful enough to bake that pie—or pick one up in town—and invite a friend over who smiles empathetically as you clear away the laptop and piles of mail with one hand as you place down the coffee pot with the other. Or perhaps invite your daughter for a long overdue heart-to-heart. Or your spouse.

I can’t think of a better way to both heal ourselves as well as memorialize those thousands who were lost on 9/11, who all reached out with love to those they knew they’d never see again.