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Dear Aunty Pam,

 

The man of my dreams recently proposed to me and I said yes. I wasn’t expecting it but am crazy about him and have been on Cloud 9 ever since. He gave me a beautiful emerald-cut diamond ring and I was showing it to some of my co-workers in the office when one of them said, “You know that’s not real, right?” I asked her what she meant and she said she could tell by looking at it that it wasn’t a real diamond, probably a zircon. I just laughed and said, “I don’t care if it’s a crouton, I love it.”

 

But I have to admit that since that ‘Debbie Downer’ said that to me, I’ve begun to wonder if the ring is actually a fake. And if it’s a fake is that because my fiancé didn’t think I was worth getting a real diamond? I also feel crushed because I’ve been so happy and it’s like she threw a bucket of ice water over my head and ruined everything.

 

Any advice?

Depressed

 

Dear Depressed,

 

First of all, I think we can agree on one thing: that your co-worker is a nasty piece of work. What sort of person would be so callous and unfeeling to say such a thing in front of others? And, actually, your reply about not caring if the stone is a crouton was brilliant—spot on, and funny.

 

What makes Aunty Pam a bit sad is that ’the man of your dreams’ has been yanked off his pedestal because of the catty remark by someone, who, in all probability, is deeply jealous of your commitment. Suddenly you’re wondering if he’s not so marvelous but perhaps a cheapskate, trying to scam you with a fake stone instead of a real diamond. And you know what? Maybe it actually is a zircon. Maybe that’s all he can afford. But remember this. In fact, write it down and stick it to your bathroom mirror where you’ll be reminded each time you read it: YOU LOVE THIS RING. YOU’RE CRAZY ABOUT HIM. It was one, cruel remark that made you begin to doubt everything. In your words, everything is ‘ruined.’ Are you really going to allow yourself to be pulled down that road? Really?

 

There will always be hateful people out there that want to suck the joy out of other people’s lives. The only way to deal with them is to remove their power by dismissing them, at once, from your life. You’ve got a guy you’re crazy about, who feels the same way about you and wants to be with you forever. Isn’t that what really matters? Now, go have a nice glass of prosecco and marvel at how your ring sparkles through the flute.

 

Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam