One of the most difficult things for me to do in my life is to come to terms with the fact that life is not fair. I wish it were. I wail and gnash my teeth when I feel as though I am getting the short end of the stick. When I was growing up, I would dream about being 6’6” tall. I would have settled for 6’4” even, but alas I am only 5’9” on a good posture day. My parents kept telling me to be patient, because I was going to have a late growth spurt. If I am to have a growth spurt, it will indeed be late. I wanted to be a great athlete, and I knew that if I were tall and statuesque, like a prototypical NBA shooting guard, no coach would ever overlook my latent athletic greatness. No matter how many wind sprints I ran, no matter how many jump shots I took, no matter how many weights I lifted, I was still going to be short and insignificant in the eyes of basketball and baseball coaches.  

Now all of this size stuff is really insignificant in the long run, but it made me keenly aware of the fact that life just isn’t fair. I can want more money, but that doesn’t mean I will ever get more money. I can want lots of things, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll get a single thing that I want. Life is patently unfair, and most of us sense the inequity of life from a very young age. This question of unfairness sits at the heart of Scripture. The Israelites are always asking this very question, “Why, God, is life so darn unfair? We, the Israelites, would like you, God, to fix this problem.” If you think this problem is a new one, all you need to do is look in the book of Genesis. Adam and Eve’s first son, Cain, kills his younger brother Abel, because he is jealous of Abel, and Abel’s offering before God. Cain senses the unfairness of life and kills his brother in order to eliminate the unfairness. Unfortunately, his killing does not eliminate the unfairness of life. In reality, it only exacerbates the problem. Whatever you might think of the veracity of this story and the origins of human kind, the Israelites realized that unfairness and jealousy have always been part of the human condition. 

The real question is not why life is unfair, it just is unfair: rather, how do we live with gratitude and love in spite of life being unfair? Being an Episcopal priest, I am always asking myself and my congregation this very question. You may lose your beloved spouse, but how do you continue to live your life with gratitude and love? I may get cancer, and be faced with sickness, pain, and mortality, but how do I live my life with gratitude and love? There is no one right answer. There is no bag of intellectual answers that will solve this riddle.  

I have a couple of gleanings from Scripture and my life that I find helpful. First, I give thanks for the things that other people have. I love fast sports cars, but I don’t need one. I’m thankful that someone else has a fast sports car. I love big houses, but I don’t need one. I’m thankful that someone else gets to live in a big house. I have a dear friend who is an amazing poet. I am so glad that she is a great poet. I have another friend who is an amazing carpenter. I am so thankful that he is a carpenter. My life is blessed when I can see all the blessings that other people have. Second, I love to share the few blessings I have with others. While I like to eat and drink, I love to share my bounty with others. Who cares how much stuff you have if you can’t ultimately share it with others? This life of ours is hard and difficult, but God keeps pushing each and everyone one of us to peer beyond the horizon of our own felt experience of unfairness to the bounty of gratitude and love that comes with giving thanks with others for the blessings that others have.      

— Submitted by Father Ard, Holy Cross Episcopal Church