April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

After the current “Times Up” and “Me Too” social movements it leaves people asking why did those survivors wait so long before telling someone?

That question is not as simple to answer and it is to ask. According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), an estimated 321,500 Americans, 12 and older, are sexually assaulted each year.

On average, that means every 98 seconds another American will be sexually assaulted. But why do we not hear about these cases until weeks or even years later?

Have you ever had something you thought was so embarrassing or shameful happen to you that you just wanted to forget it and never talk about it again?  It’s the same way with most survivors of assault.

In some cases, survivors find it easier to pretend to be normal and live a lie than face the horror of reliving the sexual abuse and trauma. For some it is a state of shock and disbelief that something so terrible has happened that they feel it’s better to block it out and move on even if that means not getting the emotional support or help they may need.

Therapy is not easy, and you have to re-experience each and every moment of the trauma in order to heal from it.

Another reason is almost two-thirds of survivors know the perpetrator and it can be more unnerving to be violated by someone you know. Around 55 percent of the time when a sexual assault occurs, it will happen in or around a home.

Perpetrators find it easier to assault their targets there and will often groom them emotionally. Oftentimes, these innocent survivors are lead to believe that because of who violated them, no one will believe them and the offender could easily get away with it.

In the case of minors, they know that something wrong has happened but believe they are the ones who will get in trouble for coming forward to get help. In a workplace, around 75 percent of people who have reported harassment face retaliation in return.

That means the survivor’s claims will be down played, they will face workplace hostility, and, in some cases, be fired. They can be faced with backlash questions such as “What were you wearing?” or statements like “Well, you shouldn’t have gone out that night.”

Victim blaming happens to many survivors who come forward. It’s hard to believe that after calling out for help, many people still blame the victim.

When new victims see this or hear of other women who have come forward just to have the system not work for them, it’s hard to seek help. Help that will seek justice and not just leave a bigger emotional wound.

This is why it is important to stand with the survivors who come forward. It is important to listen to them. It is important to believe each and every story so that the next woman or man to come forward knows that we, as a community, have her/his back, that she/he can overcome this.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Instead of just being aware of it, let’s step up and give strength to the women and men who live with it each day.

If you or someone you know is suffering domestic violence or sexual assault, please know you are not alone.  Steps to HOPE is here for you.  Please call Steps to HOPE Crisis Line at 828-894-2340 or visit our website www.StepsToHope.org.

– Shelby Cash