To the editor:

 

Well my friend, our rainy season of autumn has arrived in the Tiny Kingdom and all is relatively quiet. In the much larger empire of Polk, many of the elected officials are still trying to give away the empire’s water reservoir. Some were saying that to sweeten the deal they wanted to throw in the courthouse and the Dough Boy statue, but I’m pleased to report that was just a false rumor.

Speaking of Dough Boys, our local American Legion hall has been spruced up and painted “American Legion Blue.” It really looks good. But, the Tiny Kingdom’s new exterior decorator and the decorating committee have decreed that it’s not an acceptable color! Imagine that! An organization whose membership fought against tyranny on foreign lands to keep us free to enjoy the life we have, painted their building a color our government says is wrong. It’s no wonder people in other nations don’t understand how our republic works.

Please understand, I’m only going by what I read in the newspaper, but as I understand it, the exterior decorator said that even though the building is not in the historic district it is in a mixed commercial zone and must conform to the colors available on the kingdom’s palette.

I think those colors must be a unique mixture of earth tones – various shades of tan and beige with the occasional mustard tone thrown in for balance and good measure.

I can’t think of another area that says American free enterprise more than this block: an investment broker, a dentist, an artist who writes sacred music, a photographer, a marketing consultant, a whiskey distillery and store that sells computers and guns all living in harmony. (Buy a computer, get a gun!)

It’s all good, because I know that if the American Legion is forced to repaint, there are enough real citizens who will step forward to help purchase the hundreds of gallons of Sunset Beige No. 7 that it will take to cover that beautiful American Legion Blue.

Well, my friend, I have to run, it’s almost 7 p.m. on Friday and that means it’s time for Bingo at the Legion.

 

John Calure

Landrum, S.C.