“Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing. Making your unknown
known is the important thing–and keeping the unknown always beyond you.” ~ Georgia
O’Keeffe

A truck-load of bitter cold temperatures reminds us that Old Man Winter has us in his
icicle clutches. He has kept pipes freezing and temperatures plummeting to single digits
here in the mountains. Nightly, I make rounds checking that all faucets drip, drip, drip;
ensuring that space heaters are in full force; and praying that the electric blanket has not
yet given up the ghost.
Woolly socks, caps, and sweaters come out, along with long underwear and gloves. By
the time all that regalia are pulled on, I feel like a polar bear waddling over the tundra,
any trace of vanity vanished under those layers. River dog wears his red sweater,
although he might not be so appreciative of little pants. He could pass for a polar bear
cub, though!
Speaking of pants, I spotted a pair of Carhartt flannel-lined jeans in a thrift shop last
week. Looking them over, I saw they were in excellent condition, and the price was right.
A size (or two) smaller than my usual, I just could not pass up such warm jeans for $3.
Visions of dropping a size or two magically danced through my noggin—surely I could
finagle my way into them without too much suffering or starvation. Yes, dear reader,
those came home with me.
Tugging them on, I hopped and jumped more than a Mexican jumping bean. These were
as hard to haul on as compression exercise tights. (Someone’s got a warped sense of
humor: you get all the exercise by trying to get into them!) Finally, with the waistband
gaping open a good eight inches or so, I declared success.
Maybe I can just wear a loose shirt and jacket, I thought. Who’d be the wiser? However,
that was just not good enough. Back in college years, the famed trick for too-tight jeans
was to lie back flat on a bed and zip. Or jump and let gravity apply as zipping. What goes
up does come down, however, you have to zip super fast, and hope there’s no skin caught.
So, that old trick worked, no pliers necessary. The only problem was getting those jeans
unbuttoned later—which meant fewer bathroom breaks during the day! Meanwhile, there
was muffin-top syndrome to deal with. That pesky holiday overhang had to go
somewhere, so it all went overflowing the top of the jeans, deflating any false pride at
getting them on. Finding a generous-cut L.L. Bean flannel jacket, the muffin evidence
was hidden.
The rest of the day, I was careful about bending down or sitting, but I sure got ’em on.
And they looked great! The plus side was one cannot possibly eat a large meal wearing
such jeans. ‘Nuff said? Saluda Welcome Table is every Tuesday, with dinner served from 5:30-7 p.m. in the
fellowship hall of Saluda United Methodist Church. All are welcome; donations are
accepted.
The Historic Saluda and Oral History Committees meet on Jan. 16 from 2-4 p.m. at
Saluda Library.
There’ll be a free breakfast for veterans at Ward’s Grill, from 8-10 a.m. on Jan. 22.
Enjoy a community potluck and bingo at Saluda Center on Jan. 26 at 6 p.m.
There’s still time to honor a loved one with an engraved brick paver for Pace Park. For
information, contact Catherine Ross at 828-749-3534 or carnc@charter.net.
Saluda Community Land Trust (SCLT) would benefit from your donations or your time
as a volunteer for their many community projects. For information, contact SCLT at 828-
749-1560 or visit saludasclt.org.
Saluda get-well wishes go to Rita Igoe, who currently is at Emory Medical Center in
Atlanta.
Happy January Birthday to ‘Sparkles’ Anderson, Brandy Bradley, Alex Bardos, Carolyn
Ashburn, Scott Kinard, Donna Bond, Greer Eargle, Wyatt Alan Pace, Irma Anderson,
Paul Aaybe, Rich Rauschenbach, Phyllis Arrington, and Kenneth Justus. Please add your
birthday to the list!
Garden notes: Even in the midst of winter, plan future planting beds now, keep adding to
compost and have a stash of bright seed and garden catalogs nearby to lift spirits on
freezing days.
Thank you for reading this column, dear reader. As ever, the goal is to make you feel like
you’re enjoying small town life and a cup of hot tea with me in a friendly little mountain
town called Saluda. You can contact me at bbardos@gmail.com, call 749-1153, visit my
website at bonniebardos.com for more writing and art, or find me on Facebook.