If I asked you, What is your perception of a certain event or situation? you would most likely respond from your knowledge of the event.&bsp; It is virtually impossible to know all the details, facets, and conditions of an event we have just witnessed.&bsp; As a result, our perception is just that, a perception, and therefore it is probably not totally accurate.

There are probably as many different perceptions of an event as there are people giving their perception.&bsp; Even from the best of intentions, our perceptions are shaded from our culture and life experiences.

Consequently, your perception is your reality, and my perception is my reality, and we will probably, in almost all situations, behave from that perception.

To help understand how different people can have different perceptions of the exact some event, there is an interesting story that illustrates this point

A young college senior was playing football in his last game of the season at the end of his college football career.&bsp; With only a few seconds left to play, the referee, from the young mans perspective, made a bad call that resulted in his team losing the game.&bsp; The young man did not agree with the call but was a gentleman and accepted the outcome of the game.

After the game, the young man boarded on old-time train for the long ride home for Thanksgiving.&bsp; The train was old and the seats faced each other, resulting in two people riding forward and two people riding backward, so the four would face each other.

Before the train pulled out, a beautiful young lady and her elderly grandmother sat down across from the young man.&bsp; A few minutes later, another man came on board and sat down beside the young man.&bsp; It happened to be the referee that had made the call, causing the young mans team to lose.

As the train pulled out, all four rode in silence.&bsp; A few miles down the track, the train went into a very long, dark tunnel, with no visible light from any source.

In the middle of the tunnel, in total darkness, there was the sound of a kiss, followed by a loud slap.&bsp; The train came out of the tunnel, into the light, with the four people having their own perception of what had just happened.

Perception 1

The elderly grandmother believed that the young man had kissed her granddaughter and that she, being a proper young lady, had slapped him.

Perception 2

The young woman believed that the young man had tried to kiss her, missed and kissed grandma, and grandma had slapped him.

Perception 3

The referee believed that the young man had kissed the young woman, and she had tried to slap the young man, but missed and hit the referee instead.

Perception 4

The nearest to the truth. The young man knew that in the total darkness, he had kissed the back of his own hand and belted the referee in the mouth.

So, here we have four different people with four different perceptions as to what had happened in the tunnel.&bsp; As in most instances where there are differing perceptions, there are some common details that all four believed.&bsp; There was a kiss, and also all four knew there was a slap.&bsp; That is about as far as the similarities went.

Other than the young man, the other three built their perception from their cultural experience, background, and beliefs.&bsp; All of us do this, and it often gets us into trouble.&bsp; Anytime we try to analyze an event to form our own perception, it is probably better to listen first and then speak instead of speaking first and then listening.

A related premise is that in the absence of fact, we often expect the worst and fill in the blanks from our past experiences and beliefs.

In review, its important to remember that perceptions may or may not be fact.&bsp; One must also remember that people act from their perceptions, which to them are their reality (at least at the time).&bsp; If a perception is viewed as accurate and detrimental, work needs to be done to correct the situation (change reality).&bsp; If it is felt that a negative perception is not accurate, action needs to be taken to change that perception.

Taking the time to understand, listen, determine the facts then working to change the situation and/or change an erroneous perception can, indeed, help us all to live at a higher level.

Dr. Jim Murphy is the founder and president of J.W. Murphy & Assoc., Inc. (www.teammurphy.com), a nationally known consulting company that specializes in helping individuals and organizations in their journey toward excellence. He now resides in Polk County.