A disciplined conscience is a mans best friend. It may not be his most amiable, but it is his most faithful mentor.

Austin Phelps

When you were in school, you heard a lot about discipline in the classroom. You probably got sick and tired of hearing about discipline: Sit still. Be quiet. Single file. No gum. No running in the halls. The message that often came through was: no fun allowed.

In a way, Dictionary.com tends to support this impression. It defines discipline as (a) Control obtained by enforcing compliance or order. (b) A systematic method to obtain obedience (c) A state of order based on submission to rules and authority

But none of those is the first definition of the word; in fact, they are well down the list. Heres number one: Discipline is training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement [italics added for emphasis].

Ah, now thats more like it. Lets throw out all that classroom discipline stuff and start thinking of discipline as your friend. This type of discipline is not imposed by some authority figure bent on keeping you under control; it comes from within, and its purpose is to allow you to improve your mental and physical capabilities so that you can accomplish more and be happier. In short, the grown-up purpose of discipline is to help you live a better life.

Good things dont automatically happen if you just wait around long enough. We all know grown men and women who still live with their parents well into their thirties, waiting for a good job to come along so they can finally be out on their own. In many cases certainly not all, but many these folks simply have not imposed the self-discipline required to get where they want to be.

Continuing your education or training while working a full-time job requires discipline. So does getting up at 5:30 a.m. to exercise. In order to advance in your job or career, you may have to arrive early or stay late, or find a way to get more done in the same amount of time as everyone else. In order to have a successful marriage or relationship, you must have the discipline to sacrifice some of your own personal desires for the sake of the other person.

All of these sacrifices will more than pay you back in a multitude of ways. Open your eyes and see discipline for what it is: your good friend.

Excerpted from The Graduates Book of Practical Wisdom: 99 Lessons They Cant Teach in School by C. Andrew Millard, published by Morgan James Publishing, available in bookstores and online. &opy; 2008 by C. Andrew Millard; all rights reserved. For more information visit www.wisegraduate.com.